The Lobster and the Bastard Stripper

I have this beauty advisor that just turned 21 last Thursday and she invited me to go to her party to a place called Baja Lobster-it’s a half resto and half club at night. Their specialties of course are seafood, seafood and seafood indulged in Mexican style. I’m expecting Lobster should be the main course, but that night, nobody told me that Thursday is going to be a special day for “The Ladies” and their main course in the menu, “Three Well Contoured Hot Male Lobsters in Lycra.”

I went home from work that Thursday when the clock strikes 16. I turned my hair to ash. Ate the left-over from last night and hit the shower. It was 19 when my manager phoned me saying my ride is waiting for me at the store. I quickly put my eyes up and do some brush strokes and spray a bit of Stefano. I checked my clock saying I’m late. 20 before 20 when the wheels rolled on 805. There’s a tow-away guy checking us out-not sure if he’s staring at my boss or ahem (clears throat*) but for sure he wants either one of us. He’s running the same speed as we’re running 25 but by the time we’re making our turn, he went to the opposite direction.

As we were at the entrance and the bouncer checked our Identification, you could see the entire room with tons of chairs and tables and three small groups of people, and yes they were all Ladies. I sat down and asked for a very long island iced tea. My boss ordered the famous quesadillas with jalapeno and the so called Seafood. Minutes after minutes I couldn’t see no more chairs and room is getting packed. I could see a lot of Walgreens people; from clerks, to photo, cosmetics, even managers and that include Mario. He came with his male cousin. I know Kit is going to be hysterical if I’m not going to be more descriptive. Okay, his cousin is very Latino I could tell he’s a sort of a hottie but anyway let us go to the main story. The show starts with a game for fellas that know how to shake their booty and do something unique using the pole. The announcer speaks straight Mexican slang and of course no intiendes, no hablo español. Damn I have no idea what their talking about but I’m still laughing and watching them as if I really do understand. The lights went off and Pink started to sing her song. Three Men in Uniform went to the stage. But they’re not the main course though, they’re just an appetizer. When the announcer introduced the first Lobster, I could feel the crowd’s intensity reached the highest level. Everybody’s so excited. Then he called the second the then the third Lobster. They didn’t do their routines over the stage but they do it table by table, customer by customer. Sorry guys but I covered my eyes. I didn’t see the entire show, for real.

After the show, people move their asses up to the dance floor and shake their own booty. One of Mario’s male cousins went too and dude he’s much hottier than the first one. While they’re dancing, I’m busy recording the scene using my beloved camera. Its girl’s gone wild Mexican edition. Damn I wish I was one of them.

I went to my seat to check out the video and photos that I just captured. When I turn my sight to the dance floor, I saw one bouncer talking to Mario. One of my friend’s friend told me he’s trying to take his shirt off. And here comes the other bouncer. I went up and talk to him but he’s drunk and he needs to take a chill pill. They forced him to leave the room. I followed them going all the way out of the club, you know as a friend (smiles*). His two cousins was there too so I went back to my seat and few seconds more, my boss approached me to tell me we’re leaving. I couldn’t believe that they kicked us out of the club. It’s just Mario though but we’re with him so that includes my ass.

Sick Days

It is not easy to just hide the lint underneath the carpet but if ever I have the power to move the time backwards, the wedding has enough memories to reminisce.

21.05.2007

Its 2:19 in the morning and I’m wide awake, dialing all the numbers, searching for a perfect late night-early morning TV show from my control. I am hungry. My time reads 15 hours ahead of PST and I am feeling sick for the past six days, trying to rotate the time just to suit my body clock.

Today, I woke-up again with them, so fresh as if like it was yesterday. I sat in front of my computer, waiting for someone to get online. I checked my mailbox but I ended up looking and talking to our photos, laughing for some moments and damn, so much drama to deal with! I do not know what is wrong with me but I need to talk to somebody as in right now! One more day of not talking to anyone and I will receive a letter from Lex Luthor sending me up to Project 33.1.

I never imagine I’m going through all of this again, have mercy! It is better to just go to a party, get drunk and then pass out without anything to remember just deal with a terrible headache thats it, compare to a memorable “one-night stand”.

The White Beach-ers

7th of May, Monday 7:49 pm

I’m still packing my things for my second time going to Puerto Galera. I woke up early at 6:30 that morning, grab a cup of coffee and start to think whats going to be the game plan for today and the next couple of days. I started calling each one of them at around 10 a.m. I first called Joy just to remind them that we have to be at the bus station at 2 in the morning the next day and as well as Cecilia. I message Kit but I got a reply from him before noon saying “I’ll just meet you at the bus station. I have to wait for someone at 11p.m. before I leave”. I was like, “don’t tell me you are not coming?” and he’s like “I haven’t seen Papa after our Puerto. I just wanted to see him before I leave.” And I said “lets just meet up somewhere then.” We ended up meeting somewhere in Malibay.

All I did all day is to call and message the three of them plus Tutai (asking her about the bus station going to Batangas in Cubao) plus the accommodation that “nanay” gave me and I think that’s it.

It’s past eight in the evening and I haven’t taken a shower yet. My dad asked me what time do I suppose to leave because it’s getting late. Of course who wants to go out late? So I took a shower. I message Kit telling him I already left and I’m on my way going to Pasay even if I barely came out of the shower. Its ten quarter when I finally got into the bus. My ride ran to 80 to 100 kilometers per hour so I just had an hour ride going there. When I was walking down the alley, I checked my phone and I got a message from an unknown number but it’s just Joy. Huh duh? And then I finally reached Aiza’s place. I’m wondering where the hell is Kristoffer Santos at? I received a message from him asking “where you at?” And then a couple of minutes ago, he showed up his ass. We went to an Automated Teller Machine first and then chat a little, catch up a bit and then boom, I got a message from Joy. Now, we have to go meet them in Cubao.

8th of May, Tuesday 1:57 am

Five Star Bus Station, Cubao.

I’m searching for a 30ish skinny registered pharmacist, a 20 y/o newly grad nursing student and a senior high school lad. I received a text from them. They are waiting at the other side of C4 in front of a popular 24 hour convenient store and there is no other way going there but to take the freaking dark overpass, sweet! As we’re walking our large steps, we saw them at last having their huge fully loaded gym bags. After a quick intro, we took a cab that cost us 120 Php for just one and a half mile. I got a phone call from a single mom that’s going with us with her baby. She knew we have to be at the bus station at 2 but still we have to wait for her for almost an hour.

As we were chatting about their bus experience, we saw our VIP guest together with her lovely daughter walking towards us and finally the bus starting to load the Batangueños and the excited white beach-ers.

I’m exchanging text messages with mi amiga without a cost telling me he has this positive aura of having a fling before the end of this season.

It’s around 5 a.m. when I heard the cue of the sweet lover kicking us out of the bus and we’re now at our second stop. We bought our tickets, went thru some lousy inspection and wait for another hour to ride the famous Bangka going to the white sand beach.

After 80 minutes of sea navigation, we finally arrived in our final destination. Talking about the accommodation that my mom gave me, I am looking for a placard with my name holding by some sort of a kuya and we found him. We started walking away from the shore and noticed we’re not stepping on the sand anymore. We didn’t get the first option and ended up going back to the shore to find another comfy place as our plan B. We got this room from the famous kuya Boy a.k.a. kuya Boyet (according to Joy) for a reasonable price. As we go on with the game plan. The three of us went to a renowned wet and dry market, ordered our water while the rest of the gang went to taste the sea water and took a nap.

The lunch was great. Love the steamed rice compare to lugaw. Together with Kit, we went to take a quick dip for half an hour. We saw this poor drunk kuya sitting on the sand making sooca. As he went up and treats himself for another bottle of tipple, he offered me a cheap 100 Php massage with some extras. I shouted a big No out of nervous and he walked away somewhere. Kit said I caught kuya’s attention because of his white framed sunnies. Out of nowhere, we saw again kuya holding a new bottle of tipple going back to the shore. Got our asses out of the water, and our valuables and went back to the hotel. As kuya passed our hotel, we went back to the water for few more minutes and finally decided to go back to our room to take a good rest. I asked Kit to wake me up so we can hang out somewhere that night but I swallowed a pill before I went to bed and when I woke up, its now day two.


9th of May, Wednesday 7: 12 in the morning

I’m blaming Kit for not waking me up last night. Unfortunately the two of us were sleeping like a dead person according to Joy. We started our day with a good breakfast. Steam rice, Longganisa and a cup of coffee. For our second day itinerary, the snorkeling is the top priority. I’m reaching our orange friend, Nica for kuya snorkel’s digits. Russell, the snorkel guy called me so we packed our valuables, got some food/water, and put sun protection to our skin and now we’re ready to board the Bangka. On our way to the island, we pose for some pictures. Being a model/photographer as our profession, we’re having a hard time taking good photos of ourselves but we nailed most of them though.

We started to feed the fishes and God they’re all hungry. Tons of blue star fish, some sort of nice group of corals and seaweeds are somehow the tourist attraction in the island that cost us almost 500 Php. We took pictures again and hop to the next island destination. Russell searched for a sea creature requested by the VIP and he got one. We rested in a rocky place for an hour. Took pictures of us again, and bathe in its clear water. I got a scratch on my knees from a rough surfaced rock after I tripped on it, stupid me. Its lunch time when we finally decided to go back to the main island. We treat ourselves a good lunch. We went back to the hotel very full, took a bath and changed our clothing. Hours later, the whole gang except for the VIP and her daughter went out to have each of us a henna tattoo.

I asked Kit to accompany me to go to the ticketing booth for our ticket to be validated but unfortunately there’s no one there. We’re standing in front of the booth when Kit saw Champ and the rest of his band mates and friends hanging out right beside it. We’re so excited telling the rest of the gang about what we saw. We are planning to take pictures with him/them but we choose not to and have our henna tattoos be done instead. Joy got her tattoo first and then she went to the hotel to get the camera because her nephew Jillian, the senior high school lad, wants to have a picture with the vocalist.

We have now our tattoos done. As we are on our foot back to the hotel when we saw Joy walking towards us holding a camera. Who doesn’t want a picture with Champ? Only Kit and Mac. So I decided to make a script just to make an intro to have a picture with them and there I was, talking my ass out and sweating big time. We went back to our hotel so happy, ended up having pictures with him. Oh God that’s tough! Whew*

Moving on, after we've had our dinner, Kit, Mac and I went to the white beach shopping area. I bought my friends shirts and novelties, Mac got himself two board shorts and Kit…I forgot what he got for himself. The VIP gave us money for the cocktail and few tipples we’re going to buy that night. We sat on the shore and start to drink the Mindoro’s famous cocktail mix, the Mindoro sling. I started to share my story with them (there’s Kit, Joy, Mac, Jillian and myself) and Kit shares his experiences too and they’re just listening. We finished the sling so we went to seat in a cozy mono with a nice wooden table and started drinking the tipples.

As the night went on, and the alcohol starts to rule our minds, the boys start speaking their minds out. Kit and I hit Mac’s attention when we utter the word Pervert out of our freaking mouth. I could still feel the tension between both sides. If ever you read this, my apologies.

Jillian went to the hotel first after he made sooca on the shore, then Joy and then Mac. They left us two more bottles and we’re forcing each other to finish it. We talked about some issues that made him cry. I’m not going to elaborate it here but that was a good one. We went inside the room and lights off. That was a long day for us.


10th of May, Thursday 6:30 a.m.

I woke up early to have some coffee. I feel tremendously dehydrated. They’re still sleeping except for Joy that’s in the bathroom since 6 a.m. We need to validate our ticket two hours before the boarding time. I woke up Kit and went to the ticketing booth again for the second time. We choose to leave the island at 11 a.m. We went back to inform them the ticket is already validated.

Mac, Kit and I decided to burn our skin a little more before going back to the city so we went to the cave that they’re bragging about and then Mac went inside it all by himself. Kit was about to follow him but thank God, Mac finally decided to go back thru the hill. We walked our asses going back to the hotel because we only have two hours to get ready. Mac went to take a shower first while Kit and I sun bathe for a half hour. It’s now 9:30 a.m. and I have to get myself ready. I took a quick shower and I asked Kit to pack my belongings because Joy, Jill and I were going to return the blue plastic gallon to the water refilling station and shop some goodies. Its ten minutes before eleven when we finally get done our entire to-do list. We walked as fast as we could to get our belongings from the hotel. We saw Cecilia going opposite direction and Joy told her that the Bangka is waiting for us to board. Jillian and I ran to the hotel. I picked up my gym bag and ran going to the Bangka. Kit was right before me, and then I’d seen Joy, Jillian and Mac but without Cecilia. Kit and I decided to wait for Cecilia and let the Macaraeg clan go on with that trip.

I can see the people from the Bangka giving us the tiger look. I couldn’t believe that we were experiencing the VIP treatment out of humiliation.

Thanks to the Bangka crew. They allow us to join the second to the last trip which is another two hour wait.

We’ve waited for Cecilia near the ticket booth of our Bangka (where the Hale band was). One manong turned on by Kit by simply talking. That was impressive! As we were waiting, we saw a model and a set of photographers having their shoot in the island. We were amazed by the model because she looks like a Kuyang Ate. Well anyway it’s been hour and a half ago but I never seen her shadow. So I stood up and started searching for her and there she was standing carrying her daughter.