Missed Connection

I've been a fan of Craigslist Missed Connections since last year when a friend introduced me to just check some interesting postings from this site, I mean "crazy" shots. Never missed a day since then, thinking I might be one of those hopefuls that made a connection by just looking in the eye and making some gestures. Anyway, here's one of my faves, enjoy reading it.

"You were wearing a black shirt, blue jeans, and an apron. I was wearing the same sans the apron. It was several years ago but I still remember the "moment". You were the new guy in the restaurant and I was the hot shot bartender ( pun intended ). When we ran into each other and you were introduced to me something something amazing happened. For some odd reason the planet stopped spinning. In Fact everything stopped. Time stopped. people stopped. The soda guns stopped. The fryers stopped. Everything. It was the briefest moment that lasted forever. I can still remember it even today without effort. The sun light was blasting through the door from the patio and it seemed to make you glow in that dark dining room. Your tall, lanky figure popped out like a bright image burning itself onto my minds eye.

You fell in love with me. I couldn't understand why. You are such a tremendous person. Beautiful beyond your environment. I never understood why you liked working in that foul place. I knew I could handle it. Grisly gay men drinking them selves stupid every night. Crowding the floor as you tried to squeeze by with plates of hot food. Scandalous, self-indulgent employers who happily buried that place in poorly planned financial choices. And seemed to laugh as they did so. NO, it didn't make sense. You seemed to be so far beyond that. You were the sweetest thing. Honest and real. Positive, kind, generous and compassionate. You were Mother Teresa. Patrolling the slums for outcasts. You suffered such disrespect. But you were always able to cast your smile my way.

We started dating. We shared a kiss by the light house. Then you dumped me because I said I might be moving soon. We cried in the car like children. I moved to LA but we stayed together anyway. Then our lives were interupted by a jealous roommate. It damaged our relationship but only because I Made poor choices in that time. We began to fight. A lot. I moved in with you and your parents for a breif while and lost my old friends in the process. I did that for you. I told my staunch republican, Irish Catholic father that I am gay. I did that for you. I gave up a lot. I cried a lot. I swore a lot. I got angry and cynical a lot. I did that for you. I lost touch. I drank heavily. I worked in that lousy gay bar down the street. I gained wait. Stopped going to school and drank more. We still made love but fought more often. Remember that house a rented a room in? It was great but my roommates didn't care for me much. I was reclusive, Withdrawn, Uninvolved and a drunk. Then we got in a fight at work and that was the last straw. It was my fault. In between break ups and getting back togethers I slept with someone else. It ruined you. I felt terrible. And what choice of a guy too. I am a sleeze ball. I am a filthy dirtbag. A typical "guy". An unforgivable wretch!

Then you know very well what happened. I packed my things. Threw everything in the truck late one night and got ready to go back home. Then you came by and tried to stop me. You even jumped in the back of my truck! haha, you were so crazy. The sweetest thing. Mother Teresa. I got you out and drove home to mom and my now depressed, disgruntled father in that pitiful small little town where nothing good happens to guys like me.

Two years went by. We hadn't talked but I heard About you through the gape vine. Fags love talk about everyone's business. On some lonely nights I would check out your myspace. Check out the pictures of you and your new man. MY heart would ache. My stomach would become a mixture of burning regret, depression, and anger. Then cynicism. I Moved back to LA. Met some guys here and there. But nothing like you. I worked a few nowhere, nothing jobs. In empty bars. For strangers. I later moved to San Diego. Tried to go back to school but couldn't make it work. I served tables. I hosted. I was everybody's bitch. I got bad gigs and some not so bad. My parent's worries become lost hopes. My roaring twenties began to wane into approaching 30's. But I made some new friends and dated guys here and there. But none of them came close to you. yes, you never seemed to leave my mind. Your image burned so ferociously upon my minds eye. Your good looks and sweet eyes. Your soft voice and even softer lips. You kissed like you couldn't get enough and when you did every part of me fought to get out and become a part of you. I thought of you every day. I played back moments from our lives and struggled to figure out what went wrong. I hoped in secret that we would meet again and fall back in love and would I be able to treat you once and for like you always wanted me to. Like you should have been treated and like I'm sure your boyfriend treats you now. No, I had lost you.

Then something marvelous happened. I had a bad reaction to some drugs and ended up in the hospital. I came close to death and can remember seeing my life flash before my eyes. I saw my sister for some reason. As a child playing in the yard. That moment scared everything out of me. You Sent me a message on myspace that I hadn't responded to but now I felt like it was time to see you again. You sounded like your old self on the phone. That soft voice just like I remember it. I gave you some sappy story about how I almost kicked the bucket and your sweet compassionate heart, unchanged by degree of time, pain, or suffering, opened right up and started gushing tears of empathy. You came to visit me and we met up for dinner. You told me about your boyfriend and how great things were. We went for a walk in the cactus garden and I showed you my favorite spot. Then we settled in the rose garden and I took a picture of you. I still have it.

We fell into old feelings. We talked about love. Then before you left you tried to stop yourself but you were doomed from the moment you first decided to drive to San Diego. We Kissed. It was everything. After that we tried to make something happen But I couldn't go through with it. You were engaged and I couldn't stomach the sneaking around. Besides. Your are not the cheating type. Not you. My sweet saint. My kind, compassionate, angel. Mother Teresa.

We saw each other again a few times but kept things simple. Your fiance is a lucky man and I don't have the right nor the will to fuck that up. Now you're married and we still talk occasionally. I try to resist calling you too often because I know how excited you get when I do and I know what that means. No I want you to live that life. I want you to be happily married to this freak who will do anything for you. I want you get a nice house and fill it with adopted children. Who will be the luckiest, happiest, most loved kids this fucked up world has ever seen. I want you to get that social worker job you've been talking about. I want to hear about your trips to foreign countries. Your vacation in Italy. Your anniversary in Paris and what ever the hell else this mister perfect has planned for you.

In the mean time I have decided to join the army. You know I've been planning it for a while. I'm sick of restaurants and I want to see foreign lands. I Want the government to pay for my school and I want a career in national security. So I can keep you and your family safe. SO your children wont wake up one day and wonder why the towers are burning. SO one day I can also find a family. Provide for them and love them.

You were the love of my life and my ultimate missed connection. You were wearing blue jeans and a black shirt. It was your first day of work and you were very nervous and when we caught each other's eyes everything stopped."

Location: San Diego
it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1004754156

That was the original posting. Almost die when I was reading the last few sentences. Thank goodness I saved it in my files coz the next day I looked for that Ad again, It was gone or people just flagged the entry.